HAPPY NEW YEAR!

S.

The Bullets Are Proof

A beautiful song. The perfect melody to start off the new year with.

2010. What a year. 

Where does one begin? Is there even a beginning, or end for that matter, to all the wonderful and horrible things that have happened this year? 

The Good

• For the longest time, I truly believed I would never find like-minded people with whom I could identify. I'm not ashamed to say I'm very proud I was wrong. I hope to remain wrong for as long as it feels right. While we should all be able to go it alone, it's healthy to realize that even someone as awesome as The Expatess can get lonely (from time to time). It's not weakness, it's a sign we're alive. Because, you know, heart beats are faulty.

• I finally got my act together, taking my medication like clockwork, getting my 2.0L of water a day and feeling better than ever. My illness? High school. Once I graduated, life improved drastically. So if you're reading this and are miserable (and in hell school), let me tell you... It gets better. It'll be over before you know it. Hey, I made it out alive! 

• Speaking of quality of life, 2010 taught me many things. It crushed my foolish and unnecessary pride, handed me back my dignity and left me with a pretty good head on my shoulders. Traumatic? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely.

• Scoring a 6 (OUT OF 7) on my HIGH LEVEL IB English course. I don't generally toot my own horn, but I'm very proud of this acheivement. As one of about 25 (give or take) students who took IB English in ACA, I beat all the girls AND THE BOYS. I got the highest mark! Okay, I'll stop abusing the Caps button.... NOW.  

• Got my fashion game together. I feel compelled to say it's a little bit military, androgynous, James Dean and a whole lot neutral. What can I say? I dress in shades of gray so my colorful words can really POP! 

• So, um... Apparently not all straight guys are evil. This? News to me. 

• I ended up in Kuwait University. 

The Bad (Here's where it gets funny)

• Working with my PreCal teacher (During high school) in order to pass her class. Which I did, albeit by a measly 1%... Not one of my better accomplishments. Looking back, I think she was more stressed about it than I was. I maintain, to this day, that the numbers were racist against Canadians. You laugh, but you know it's true (Or not). Also, I do not care about Sine/Cosine/Tan waves. Like, at all.

• Having no one believe I'm Kuwaiti, so just giving up and telling everyone I'm from Bahrain. I'm kidding. Or am I? 

• Walking into the boys washroom (BY ACCIDENT!) (Maybe) three times in my first two weeks of school. Thank goodness no one actually uses them. Well, other than to smoke in. And call their girlfriends. Oh, have I said too much?

• I'm going to dedicate one simple bullet to the lack of (fashion) inspiration I faced this year. I'll just say that I'm grateful for eyeliner, fashion blogs and my hard-working Father's money... and we'll leave it at that. See, this is what happens when you don't have an older sister and/or a Gay brother. Ugh). Thank goodness I cleaned up my act. 

• Realizing KU's library doesn't have any interesting books to read. Like, not a single book. One can only look for typos in various volumes of Sharia law books for so long.

• On a slightly more somber note, I faced many emotional hurdles this year. I know I'll continue to face many more in the years to come (it's part of this thing called "life"), but with help and hope given to me by a few amazing rocks in my life, I made it through. I still have those pebble-kicking kind of days, but I've got boulders supporting my castles in the sky. For that, I am so unbelievably grateful. (You guys know who you are. I love you all so much).

• I ended up in Kuwait University.    

Here's to the end of this decade, and to the beginning of everything (and anything) else. Here's to you, to me, to Kuwait, to him, to her and to anyone else with a decent internet connection. 

I'll leave you with some words from my boy Billy: 

“Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.” - Shakespeare 

2010... You made a woman out of me. 

Toasting the year in which my only love sprung from my only hate,

S.

PS - Any thoughts or hopes for 2011? Please share, I love reading these types of things.

PPS - Last treat of the year? A Twix bar.

But Do You "Like" Like Me?

Poked? That's just disgusting. Feel free to lick.. err.. I mean, LIKE me.

This is a momentous day for The Expatess. I almost have more followers than I do fingers (one hand though), and I've decided the branch out and uh.... Join Facebook. Yes, you read that correctly. 

I joined Facebook. I went viral. Again. (This blog counts, right?)

LIKE ME!

The Expat Files on that digital book with all the pretty faces. Or, my Facebook Page for short. 

Also, a huge THANK YOU goes out to all who helped (Cookie monsters unite!), and this is me spreading the love by sharing some links they feel should get some exposure:

• http://www.kuwaitpaperdump.com
• http://www.7achy.com  
• http://www.sweetcravingskw.com/
  

The things I do for you punks. All four of you.

Digging through her old social graveyard,

S.

PS - Like me! (Shameless, I know).

Snap Snap

This job really doesn't pay well.

The Expatess. Kuwait University. A digital camera. Wit.

No one, and nothing, was safe.

(The following is one of a few photo-heavy posts I've made as an homage to my first semester at Kuwait University. Enjoy, and take it all with a pinch of salt. No Kuwaitis were (permanently) harmed in the making of this series.) (Unfortunately). (Also, I hate disclaimers. Damn my politically-correct Canadian ways).

*Cue Paparazzi by Lady Gaga*

• Because nothing makes a house a home like day-glow pistachio green paint. (That was a mouthful to say!).  I drive by this... "house" every morning. The words "morning" and "sickness" come to mind... *Rolls down car window* 

• I christened this thing The Birth Canal. I pass through it every morning, and it's a very painful and very intense experience... EVERY TIME. I've yet to find stretch marks, but it's only a matter of time.

PUSH! Or.. Not.

• These flowers were the closest thing to Christmas decorations we had at KU. Well, that and the red Starbucks cups. It's sad on several, albeit refreshing and minty, levels...

Holiday Cheer!

 

• I found my (unauthorized) biography at KU. Contrary to recent reports, I am NOT amused.

You'll be hearing from my lawyers...

• Despite what they'll have you think, we do indeed have Gay Pride at KU. It's just that it's slyly encrypted within common, everyday objects. How can you have a campus with that many sequins and homophobia? Answer: You can't. *Cue Cyndi Lauper's True Colors*

FABU-to-the-LOUS.

• I found this in the library as well. I'm telling you it doesn't get any more Gay-friendly than KU Khaldiya... 

This King is "Queen". Also, this "Queen" is a man.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

•  They had a chocolate expo at KU the other day. The goods sold out before I got a chance to snap any pictures, but there was plenty of eye candy... I know, I'm horrible. Sue me.

Cheap as dirt! (Get it? Because the Geological.. Forget it).

• Speaking of shoving things down one's throat... (Again, SUE ME) It's hard for one as receptive as myself to ignore all the religious undertones at KU. The following was found scrawled on a wall in the girl's lounge. I use the word "lounge" loosely.

God needs to get a new advertising agency... 

•  Speaking of God, this sticker mishap proves one exists. 

I've been saying this for years now. This is divine proof.

• You CAN NOT make this shit up. You can, however, buy it every Wednesday at our cafeteria. Yummy!

Where do I even start?

• One of several short-cuts I've found (read: made up) in KU. I've dubbed this bad boy Rape Alley. Also, I once saw a cockroach kill a cat here. I wish I were joking. I might be. Or not.

Sometimes the cockroaches offer me ciggies.

•  As far as I'm concerned, these neon-orange flowers are the plants that Knafa is made of. Am I right, or am I right? 

Stalkers take note: I HATE Knafa.

• Because I want to end things on a funny note, here's a picture of the women's prayer hall/cubicle/my occasional nap spot. Yes, I'm aware I'm most likely going to Hell (If one exists). See you there!

It's like sleeping on a cloud. In heaven. Goodnight!

Seriously? No, SERIOUSLY?

 

KU is crazy, and not the "good" kind either.

I just got a text from the Elmeeya girls, the political party that runs my campus, (#Represent!) (Don't. Seriously.) informing me about a field trip they're planning to Shaab Park tomorrow. There are several things wrong with this scenario:

• It's a field trip. I'm a freshman. In UNIVERSITY.
• It's a field trip. To a punk ass amusement park.
• It's a field trip. 
• Shaab Park.
• It's a field trip.

This is where they want to take us. Take me. The Expatess. I wish I was joking.

I did my research before I started my first semester at KU, and let me tell you this... KU is NOTHING like what I thought it would be like. The lipstick isn't nearly bright (neon?) enough, the ghutras are nowhere near as starched as I hoped they'd be and don't even get me started on the SEVERE deficit of sequins our student body is facing. Liberace is rolling in his grave as I type this. Of that, I'm sure.  (Do KUers even know who Liberace is?)

In case you were wondering while I got sidetracked there, no, I am NOT going on the field trip. I understand the girls are attempting to create some fun for the freshmen, but no, Shaab Park is not the way to do that. It's like they're not even trying to entertain me. Or piss me off. Both would work. I'm not overly picky.  

In short? KU is letting me down, and this field trip was just the tip of the sand dune. It's just so... boring. The field trips are boring. The exhibitions are boring. The classes are boring. Dare I say it, the people are pretty boring as well. Yeah, I'm a picky elitist loner, but seriously... SHAAB PARK? 

Praying for glitter,

S. 
 
PS - What's your least favorite thing/memory about university?

Acapella... Ella... Ella

Her voice (acapella or otherwise) is just... perfection.

Guess what? Just try. TRY! No? Fine...

MIDTERMS ARE OVER! (For now anyways).

What does that mean? Why should you care??? Well, for starters:

• I now have MORE time to blog (read: bitch) about stuff
• I can finally sleep without feeling guilty, thinking "I should/could be studying right now..."
• I have time to style my hair to perfection. Bad hair? I'd rather die.
• I just have more time, therefore I'm content. Simple pleasures and what not... Meh.

I'll be honest, I winged most of the exams but whatever. I'll just make up the difference come finals, because I'm strategic like that. Or not. We'll see if I'm blogging from Ireland next September. Until then, feel free to hold your breaths, because it WILL happen. If it doesn't... Well, I'm just not going to think about that. Not yet. 

However, I digress... (Been doing that a lot lately) 

I've got yet another biology assignment to do, but I just thought I'd pop by and inform my lovely (albeit silent) readers about what to expect before the new year is upon us. (I'll try to write them all before then, but no promises). These next few posts are going to be a bit more about "me", and a fraction lighter in regards to material/content. I want to end 2010 with a good, positive vibe and so I'll save some of my rants for next year. Cool? Great.

Here's what's next on the docket:

• What went down in 2010, and what this year meant to me (It's been the best/worst year of my life).
•  The explanation behind my (rekindled) love for Asalah.
• My plans/goals for 2011.... JUST KIDDING. I don't make plans, because I'm too busy trying to live life.
• Why I suddenly began to think (realize?) Kuwaiti  guys are indeed bangin' hot. My take on patriotism, if you will (You should, it's GOOD).
• If you're still reading this post, I hope -Dear God do I hope- you've realized this whole thing was yet another royal attempt to procrastinate. Who's a winner? I AM! That's right, say my name... 

Craving the sound of your cheers,

S.

PS - What topics would you like to see me blog about?
 
PPS - If you read my blog, and don't comment, I curse you! I curse you with all my Canadian might... That basically means you get a cookie and a hug. Can't win them all, I guess. 

Twas The Night...

December 24, 2010. Christmas Eve.

This would have been the night when my siblings and I would attempt to go to bed, excitedly aware of the fact we would wake up to a mountain of beautifully wrapped presents, courtesy of our dutiful Scottish Godmother. I miss her. I miss the cheesy Christmas movies, the neighbors' crazy decorations, singing in the school Christmas special (I was in choir), but most of all... I miss my home. Canada may not have my family, or most of the people I've decided are family (a.k.a my amazing friends), but it was, and always will be my home.

Sweet memories aside, I wanted to get into the Christmas spirit myself and what better way to do so than to give gifts to those you love? Lord knows I love all my amazing readers, all 3 of them... And so in the spirit of Christmas, I give you the gift of advice. My words, if you will. 

1. Make today special.
2. Laugh so hard you cry.
3. Thank a teacher
4. Start right now.
5. Be a hero everyday, minus the dorky cape. 
6. Follow your heart (Pray and hope your "heart" drives a bad ass car).
7. Do it for love, not profit. 
8. Compliment a stranger (Bonus points if you do it on Gulf Road). 
9. Take all your vacation days (Um, welcome to Kuwait anyone?). 
10. Listen first, talk second. Then, blog about it.

Knockin' it back,

S.

PS - Those lines were stolen (borrowed?) off my Caribou Coffee cup. Merry Christmas!

PPS - Any advice you think is worth sharing with a Canadian stuck in KU? You know where the comments go.

PPPS - Don't buy Starbucks. They're evil. Allegedly.