The X To My Why

(Edit: This was written as a letter sent between two lovers who can never be together. Why? The girl didn't think their astrological signs were a good match. It was my new age take on star-crossed lovers. We were reading Romeo & Juliet at the time. English, grade 9... Good times).  

While I'm more of a hard-hitting journalist (read: deluded blogger with 4 followers), I do actually enjoy writing fiction every now and then. Sadly, life has side swept me and I haven't had a whole lot of free time. What with KU, preparing my blog posts and life in general, I'm lucky I have time so sleep. However, I found one of my creative writing pieces from a few years ago. Enjoy. 

(It's kind of lame). (You've been warned).

Dear Someone,

It’s on days like this one that I hate you. I really, truly hate you. I was stuck in a miserable loop of heartache and shame when we met, so much so that I never even considered you for a second. I was not remotely impressed, nor did I even give you a second thought. That’s where I messed up; I didn’t see you as the threat you were, and so I didn’t feel it necessary to put up defenses. You were nothing to me, you didn’t mean anything. 

Now, you’re not everything, but you’re pretty damn close. 

It’s frightening how much you affect my mood. I feel like a small child, clinging onto you, wanting you to be everything to me. That last part is where I begin to freak out. I’m not used to needing people, certainly not to this extent. Glorious as it was, I can’t help but sometimes wish we had never we met. I’m too young to feel this old and heart-broken, and I’m tired of constantly yearning for you. All these emotions make me feel weak; I should be above yearning, above wants and needs, above love.

As far as I can tell, I love you. I don’t think that will ever change. I don’t look forward to the day we’re both older, and we’re married, but not to each other. It’s stupid how far ahead I’m thinking. I told you, you’re aging me at a rapid pace.

It probably won’t ever happen, us I mean. It wouldn’t work out, but I don’t think I’ll ever find another like you. I constantly compare people to you. None of them quite hit the spot. You’re my constant imaginary companion, and we do everything together. Crazy? I believe so.

I miss you so much. I love you even more. 

While I’ll never stop loving you, today is just one of those days when I don’t like you.

Today, I hate you.

(Regretfully) Yours,

S. 

PS - Any thoughts or comments?