Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Snap Snap

This job really doesn't pay well.

The Expatess. Kuwait University. A digital camera. Wit.

No one, and nothing, was safe.

(The following is one of a few photo-heavy posts I've made as an homage to my first semester at Kuwait University. Enjoy, and take it all with a pinch of salt. No Kuwaitis were (permanently) harmed in the making of this series.) (Unfortunately). (Also, I hate disclaimers. Damn my politically-correct Canadian ways).
*Cue Paparazzi by Lady Gaga*
  • Because nothing makes a house a home like day-glow pistachio green paint. (That was a mouthful to say!).  I drive by this... "house" every morning. The words "morning" and "sickness" come to mind... *Rolls down car window* 

  • I christened this thing The Birth Canal. I pass through it every morning, and it's a very painful and very intense experience... EVERY TIME. I've yet to find stretch marks, but it's only a matter of time.
PUSH! Or.. Not.
  • These flowers were the closest thing to Christmas decorations we had at KU. Well, that and the red Starbucks cups. It's sad on several, albeit refreshing and minty, levels...
Holiday Cheer!

  • I found my (unauthorized) biography at KU. Contrary to recent reports, I am NOT amused.
You'll be hearing from my lawyers...
  • Despite what they'll have you think, we do indeed have Gay Pride at KU. It's just that it's slyly encrypted within common, everyday objects. How can you have a campus with that many sequins and homophobia? Answer: You can't. *Cue Cyndi Lauper's True Colors*

  • I found this in the library as well. I'm telling you it doesn't get any more Gay-friendly than KU Khaldiya... 
This King is "Queen". Also, this "Queen" is a man.               
  •  They had a chocolate expo at KU the other day. The goods sold out before I got a chance to snap any pictures, but there was plenty of eye candy... I know, I'm horrible. Sue me.
Cheap as dirt! (Get it? Because the Geological.. Forget it).
  • Speaking of shoving things down one's throat... (Again, SUE ME) It's hard for one as receptive as myself to ignore all the religious undertones at KU. The following was found scrawled on a wall in the girl's lounge. I use the word "lounge" loosely.
God needs to get a new advertising agency... 
  •  Speaking of God, this sticker mishap proves one exists. 
I've been saying this for years now. This is divine proof.
  • You CAN NOT make this shit up. You can, however, buy it every Wednesday at our cafeteria. Yummy!
Where do I even start?
  • One of several short-cuts I've found (read: made up) in KU. I've dubbed this bad boy Rape Alley. Also, I once saw a cockroach kill a cat here. I wish I were joking. I might be. Or not.
Sometimes the cockroaches offer me ciggies.
  •  As far as I'm concerned, these neon-orange flowers are the plants that Knafa is made of. Am I right, or am I right? 
Stalkers take note: I HATE Knafa.
  • Because I want to end things on a funny note, here's a picture of the women's prayer hall/cubicle/my occasional nap spot. Yes, I'm aware I'm most likely going to Hell (If one exists). See you there!
It's like sleeping on a cloud. In heaven. Goodnight!


  1. Very witty and I'll have to say you have a good eye for details. I think I'll have to blame all the commentaries you had to do in senior year (before you freak out, no I am NOT a stalker!). I am currently an IB senior...albeit on the brink of death, I'm still surviving. While I still am, I've decided that your blog will be my tucked away outlet to a dimension of this world where humor still exists. I know I'm blowing this out of proportion, but I've been known to be big on exaggeration. It comes with the blue passport. Anywho, this has ridiculously become of a species other than a comment. So I'll suffice with what I've said and say adieu.


    P.S. I just sat myself down and read all your posts from June to October. I can only say that I am sorry that I've only just descovered this blog! :)

  2. Oops! I meant discovered. I couldn't overlook it. Spelling errors have always been an eyesore for me.

  3. Greetings Earthling,

    Welcome to the galaxy that is The Expat Files. Thank you so much for the kind (and eloquent!) words, they mean more than you could ever know. A HUGE thank you for following the blog, and here's to hoping I continue to inject some light in the darkness that is IB. As someone who made it out alive, I tell you this: THERE IS LIFE AFTER IB.


    PS - I LOVE stalkers. Just saying.

  4. Are you kuwaiti? That was funny lol

  5. I don't look, speak or act it... but I am Kuwaiti. Well, half.

    Glad you enjoyed it. :D

  6. Haha! Gay trash thingy xP
    Damn it RS i Love your blogs!! U still didnt do the "you know your kuwaiti if..." blog =(

  7. Reveal yourself! Then, AND ONLY THEN, will I publish. Yes, I already wrote the post... Your move.

  8. The green house you have there? Its a KG.
    So yeah...

  9. LoL!
    Yeah a KG.
    Opening really soon.
    My house is right next 2 it thats y i know :P

  10. I see. Well, it makes sense, but it doesn't make this color scheme OKAY.