Saturday, February 5, 2011


**Disclaimer: This is my attempt at being "open" and "vulnerable". I'm not very good at it, and I apologize in advance**

Apologies for not posting anything yesterday. While I am trying to post daily for the duration of the 'Month of Love', yesterday something felt off. I was doing that thing where I ignore my feelings, and so I couldn't think. When I can't think, I can't create and so I can't blog write. 

That's life for you. It's a vicious cycle, but I'm beginning to talk in circles... 

Melancholy aside, I've got a song to share with you today. It falls under the "Bitter Ex-Lover" category of love songs, so you know I was all over it like bees on honey. I'll be honest, apart from this song, I don't really listen to Damien Rice. His style in music is a bit too something for me (I'm not sure what). At this stage in my life, I listen to music to either escape reality/daydream, get pumped up for the gym or both. I'm a very sensitive person (shocker, I know) and so listening to some songs just hurts. If that makes any sense.

'Delicate' is one of those songs. 

"So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you've known?"

I preach about love, but I carry around a lot of hate. I am so angry, furious really, over and at so many things, we'd need a couple of lifetimes just to go through that list. It's so hard, being this angry all the time, being so bitter and hateful. I try my best to not inflict it on other people, and so I keep to myself, minding my own business. However, anger being what it is, it needs somewhere to go. Since I refuse to send out that much negative energy out into the world, it lives inside me. It eats away at me. All the time.
I've tried letting go, I've tried turning to God and religion, I've tried forgiveness... but it's useless. 
Nothing works.

What I'm trying to say is that my life hangs in a delicate balance. Don't mess it up with your chaos. Don't ask for something I don't have. Don't ask for something I can't give. Don't try and trap me with your words, into your world. Don't make me regret everything that came before you. Lastly, don't make me ruin everything that will come after you.  
Love? Love is easy. It's hate that is delicate.

Licking her wounds,



  1. Unacceptable! our bundle of joy shall not suffer carrying around all that hate!

    Just think of the bright side, there's always a bright side trust me!

    Let go of hate, remove it, or pass it on to hated people! (like salafists)!

    The song; not really something i've experienced hence i cannot judge the way i feel about it.

    Listen to Beyonce's "If i were a boy" and try to think a bit more like the bi*** she acts as in the video; just a little bit to get a grip of yourself.

    Love yourself, love the world, love the people, love everything. Be simplistic and you shall see that there's love everywhere; more than hate.

    Your loyal friend Wahab :D

  2. Ah, it's easier said than done. Hate is so consuming. However, your little message has done much for my mentality. You give the best advice, so real and so simple.

    Your loyal-er friend S.

    PS - I love that song.